so yeah i figured it would be entertaining to tell my side of the month thus far....(as well as i can remember it) ha...so anyway...her i am...having lived nearly an entire week in a little town called Shelley Idaho with nothing to do and no one that i really wanted to terribly to talk to...aside from Meagan...Ben was driving me up the wall by hanging all over me and i was ready to dropkick him into oblivion.....however i didn't want to sit at home doing absolutely nothing with my seemingly pointless life...so when Meagan told me to come with them to a flag day practice...as boring as it sounded i decide to do it....well this was ....ummm not sure what day it was .....some day before June 7th....so anyway...i go to a couple of these practices and decide they are really kinda lame aside from the cool music...then on Thursday (June 7th) suddenly they got SSSSOOOOOOOOO much more interesting....:] haha while practice a young man came in and looked a little reserved kinda watching around...he was very handsomely dress thusly being the carnal creature that i am found him to be quite fetching....well it just so happened that after talking with him a bit due to my hyper state i found that he also had personality....poor chap he caught me dead from the get go...hes stuck with me now...anywho....i was very excited about seeing him again on the next practice which was to be a saturday

he didnt show up....


lame is all i can say for this...

however i did see him sunday due to the rather convienient fact that we go to the same building for the mass-like ritual of the mormon church...or something.....anywho i saw him and practically died of happiness there in front of the branch building

two words...

not good...

so anyway...i continue on my merry way aside from the sudden blockedge in my brain that seemed to be the ooze of thought centered on him....hmmm

so i moan through the rest of the day praying that he will show up to practice monday....well it worked!!!

he was there

i was thrilled... :]

so blunt shamless flirtage happens for which i feel no remorse...and somehow after practice is over i muster the courage to invite him to FHE in a severely round about way.....lol but yeah so i go to FHE with Meagan and Melanie and we goof off and have fun and he doesnt show up...im devastated....people start leaving and i really just am holdiung to the hope that he might still show up....well so i decide to roast a hotdog to bidemy time and it works....and to my very happy joyness i see the hideous van!

BLISS!!! RAPTURE!!! PURE AND UTTER JOY!

whitney loves the hideous van....

to continue a few things happened that all know about...fires...ashen hotdogs....frolicking up sand dunes....a gorgeous guy telling me to move to where he lives....ect ect....point being it was fantastic....so i invited hom to go watch a movie with me at my house with many other people...

games are played....and won...and lost but not to much dismay....

after which the days and night become a big fuzzy happy mess where in i have forgotten all the days things happened because every moment with him is just fantastic....tho i dont remember the days....these are a few things that happened following the night of FHE....

talked till 7 in the morning on the phone

held hands

kissed....:]

read scriptures at the temple surrounded by little children and newlyweds...

walked the green belt...twice i think...maybe three times

had scary talks at 3 in the morning about marriage

watched many many movies...

gone on many dates and

gone canoeing...

im sure there is more...but i cant recall at the moment

point is im soo madly in love right now that im illiterate....haha

i've often been worried about this relationship...not because of him but because of me...i've never thought to highly of myself and to think someone ...well anyone...but mainly someone of his standing and amazing ability should ever fall for one such as my dismal self...just doesnt happen....

anyway all people will be happy to know that today i had an epiphany....(first off that i dont know how to spell...) more amportantly that the only times i ever doubted our relationship was when i had messed up....i only doubted when i was taken in sin...when i was being rightous...it was perfect and all seemed and seems right when i do what i know is right....

i now...have no doubts....

i love him

he loves me...





and all is right. :]

OORAH!

here i go....i officially am starting the closest thing to having a journal i can probably get to....lol so yeah be ecited for me kay!? (this would be where you get up from your seat and dance around in a circle with all your little minions for me to feel as if i have accomplished something!) why thank you :] so life is intresting at this point...ive lived a while ...tho not too long and im starting to understand that im already in the stage where i have to have some incling of exactly who i am and what i want to do with my life....haha silly me i thought i had it all figured out about a month ago. i would move away from home ad do a play for to ma ke my summer worth something get a job and go to school in the fall....well that was a month ago...in my current state....ive lived away from home for a month....am workig o n my play and after my play is over i have no idea what is going to hapen to me...im not going to school in september because of money and because a certain returned missionary has got me hoping that i will be goig down to provo in the fall and not rexburg.....many people have been telling me that i should go to school...and i want to ...really bad! but its not the guy that is keepong me from going....he is a good plus deffinately to not going to school but mainly....i dont have the money and neither do my parents and i really dont want to take a loan out for my first semester of college....so thusly i will work and get a job for a year and then go...hopefully....gads life is soo weird.....i mean ....when i graduated...i thought i had my life so figured out....im so blind. i didnt even realize til last weekend how bad my family had things....and the sad thing is thats how it was when i lived there too but i didnt thinkit was that bad....i really want to just help my family out of the big financial problems not get them into more of them....they are much more important than anything to me so yeah...it makes sense in my own mind i supise it doesnt matter if it makes sense to anyone else right....: ] all well...anyway..i believe im done for now.... :]